One of the most common requests to marriage counselors and psychologists today is “Help save my marriage.” With divorce rates for first marriages at an all time high and the divorce rate for second marriages above the 70th percentile, it is no wonder that so may people are trying to figure out what is wrong with their marriages. It is also no wonder that so many psychologists today are trying to help save marriage.

Alcoholism, drug addiction, pornography addiction, and physical abuse mean that the marriage couple needs serious therapy and rehabilitation work. Whether one person has the problem or it is shared by both parties, the couple will need therapy. No matter how serious the couple is, they can not help save marriage by themselves. These problems are too serious to be dealt with by the couple alone.

’The Golden Rule’ helps save many marriages. If you find yourself asking the question what to do to help save my marriage then you might want to try this exercise. It has already helped many couples from failing marriages. Many know ‘The Golden Rule’ from their childhood, being do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

We all want to be treated properly and your spouse is no different. Use this as a guiding principle when talking to your partner. Make sure you speak softly and calmly. Be pleasant to them even in simple things like greeting them nicely when they get home from work. Don’t nag for things to get done - you can ask nicely and then maybe do it yourself. Remember that you’re working on and saving your marriage and a little annoyance is a small price to pay.

You loved your spouse with all of your heart and soul when you married him or her, and you probably still do. However, the random events of life have combined to obscure your love. It’s still there, however, and if you can clean up your life, you can rediscover it. The answer to the question, “How can I help save my marriage?” is to put your spouse’s feelings ahead of yours so that your spouse can do the same.

Finally, don’t say that you’ve already done everything that we have described in this article. There can be a lot of accumulated guilt and pain in a marriage, and that won’t go away in an instant. You need to decide that you want to save you marriage, and then recognize that there is a lot of hard work ahead to fix the damage caused by a year’s fighting. Working together with your spouse, you can say, “I did help save my marriage.”

Used to be, in the old days, that marriages lasted forever; “’till death do us part” actually had a binding meaning and people grew old together…for better or for worse no one went around asking how to save marriage. Seems like those days are over, marriages last less and less everyday and people often find themselves asking how to save my marriage? One way to save a marriage is to work it out. Negotiation is very important while working out problems. Marriage counselors help married couples work through their problems and differences. Even though they may seem expensive, they are well worth it if they can help save your marriage.

- Rex Freiberger